In our life group, we’re discussing “What If.” This week we talked about the relationship between failure and forgiveness, given that our group thinks failure should be a learning/growing experience in our lives and not just something to hide or avoid at all costs.
Toward the end of our discussion, we talked about one of my favorite themes … redemption. Specifically, how God redeems (makes something beautiful out of something ugly) our failures.
When we or others sin – when we fail, make a mistake, offend – we can either be held hostage by sin, or be freed by forgiveness.
When we don’t choose to forgive, we allow ourselves to be held hostage by sin, whether it’s our sin (for which we punish or berate ourselves) or someone else’s sin (for which we punish or reject them).
When someone sins against us (or when we are grieved by our own sin) we can respond either by focusing on the wrong which has been committed – how rotten, how unfair, how offensive – or by focusing on the opportunity for redemption – “the challenge to manifest God’s healing power.” I know I’ve mentioned this before: how in my own life I have gradually moved from a mindset of consequence (if you hurt me, I’ll unfriend you; if you cheat on me, I’ll divorce you) to a mindset of redemption (I – or we – will try to find the opportunity for redemption in our relationship), because I have experienced the amazing power of God making something beautiful out of something ugly. This is how much I believe in God’s redemptive power in our everyday lives: There is nothing he cannot redeem.
If there is a situation so bad he cannot bring something good out of something bad, then he is not God. Goodness does not really exist. Love has no power. Forgiveness does not matter.
And surely anyone who has experienced the life-changing effects of love and forgiveness and goodness know this is not true. Love changes everything. The power of love is infinite.
There is no offense love cannot redeem.
So, how will we choose to look at failure, our own and others? Yes, it can be serious. It can define relationships. It can change the course of our future. But what (or who) has the last word? Where does the story end?
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
What If We Failed?
Last night our life group talked about the third lesson in our current study, “What If.” The topic was “What if we failed?” and there were two interesting things that we discussed. The first was an excerpt from Rob Bell’s new book “Drops Like Stars,” where he talks about a study that was done with two groups of students in a ceramics class. One group was told they would be graded on quantity – how many pieces they would create over a certain number of weeks. The other group was told they would be graded on quality – the workmanship of a single piece created over the same number of weeks. So, Bell says, which group do you think produced the best work of the highest quality?
It wasn’t the answer I thought it would be. The group that was asked to produce the most also produced the best. Why? Because, researchers found, that group was allowed to try and fail over and over again, and by producing a large number of pieces, the students also learned the best techniques and ended up creating the pieces of highest quality. The other group, they discovered, spent weeks theorizing and planning but didn’t practice as much … and by not failing, they actual were unable to learn how to produce a better quality product than those who learned through trial and error.
Now, this study was not an argument for or against different learning styles … they merely drew out the observation that failure can be – and often is – a necessary part of the learning process. When we discourage or disallow failure, people do not grow as effectively as they would if we allowed failure as part of their learning process.
I know this to be true of my own experience. Here at Fellowship (the church where I serve on staff), I have been given the room to try and fail and learn and grow … in a church environment, no less … and am now much better at my job than I was when I started. Instead of demanding perfection, my mentors have given me room to make mistakes – instead of being condemned for them, they have sought to teach me through them, and I’ve learned lessons in a much more profound way than I would otherwise have grown.
Which really only makes sense, because I’m going to make mistakes whether my boss (or husband or friend) likes it or not.
The second thing that our study drew out was the relationship between failure and forgiveness (but I’ll post that later, since my coworker keeps telling me to shorten my blogs).
How have you experienced failure in your life? Has it been an occasion for misery or for growth?
It wasn’t the answer I thought it would be. The group that was asked to produce the most also produced the best. Why? Because, researchers found, that group was allowed to try and fail over and over again, and by producing a large number of pieces, the students also learned the best techniques and ended up creating the pieces of highest quality. The other group, they discovered, spent weeks theorizing and planning but didn’t practice as much … and by not failing, they actual were unable to learn how to produce a better quality product than those who learned through trial and error.
Now, this study was not an argument for or against different learning styles … they merely drew out the observation that failure can be – and often is – a necessary part of the learning process. When we discourage or disallow failure, people do not grow as effectively as they would if we allowed failure as part of their learning process.
I know this to be true of my own experience. Here at Fellowship (the church where I serve on staff), I have been given the room to try and fail and learn and grow … in a church environment, no less … and am now much better at my job than I was when I started. Instead of demanding perfection, my mentors have given me room to make mistakes – instead of being condemned for them, they have sought to teach me through them, and I’ve learned lessons in a much more profound way than I would otherwise have grown.
Which really only makes sense, because I’m going to make mistakes whether my boss (or husband or friend) likes it or not.
The second thing that our study drew out was the relationship between failure and forgiveness (but I’ll post that later, since my coworker keeps telling me to shorten my blogs).
How have you experienced failure in your life? Has it been an occasion for misery or for growth?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
What If
My life group is doing a study right now called “What If…”
Yesterday’s topic was “What if we were honest” and our group talked about why we all need a safe place to talk about our daily ups & downs in life. Of course we read James 5:16, “Confess your struggles, faults and sins to each other and pray for each other, so you may be healed, transformed and renewed. The prayer of a person living right with God has great power and wonderful results.”
A book I’m reading has a chapter about this very topic: how we can help each other live out the “kingdom personality” characterized by love, joy, peace, etc. (the fruits of the Spirit). The subheading on page 10 is “Nobody’s Perfect,” a phrase we often use to make each other feel better about our shortcomings. I, for example, have a nasty tendency to be secretly derogatory about people who annoy me. Just in my own head, just my own poisonous thoughts about how annoying they are. And, if I confess this fault to you, you may rush to say “Nobody’s perfect,” and assuage my guilt. That statement may be true (and your intentions kind), but it’s not very productive. Here’s a suggestion from the author of this book:
“Let’s say I confessed to you my disgust with someone who annoyed me and how hopeless I felt about ever loving this person. What if instead of trying to make me feel better by saying, ‘Nobody’s perfect,’ you said you believed in God’s power to transform me into a radical person who pays loving attention to those who annoy me? What if you prayed for me about this? What if later that day you encountered an annoying person and, without thinking, treated that person with kindness and attentiveness—partly because of the transforming effect of our conversation about the kingdom personality?”
It’s a fantastic shift in thinking from “look what a mess I am” to “look how amazing God’s power is to transform us, even me, into a person characterized by his Spirit.” And having others committed to that same vision is powerful! “What if,” indeed.
Yesterday’s topic was “What if we were honest” and our group talked about why we all need a safe place to talk about our daily ups & downs in life. Of course we read James 5:16, “Confess your struggles, faults and sins to each other and pray for each other, so you may be healed, transformed and renewed. The prayer of a person living right with God has great power and wonderful results.”
A book I’m reading has a chapter about this very topic: how we can help each other live out the “kingdom personality” characterized by love, joy, peace, etc. (the fruits of the Spirit). The subheading on page 10 is “Nobody’s Perfect,” a phrase we often use to make each other feel better about our shortcomings. I, for example, have a nasty tendency to be secretly derogatory about people who annoy me. Just in my own head, just my own poisonous thoughts about how annoying they are. And, if I confess this fault to you, you may rush to say “Nobody’s perfect,” and assuage my guilt. That statement may be true (and your intentions kind), but it’s not very productive. Here’s a suggestion from the author of this book:
“Let’s say I confessed to you my disgust with someone who annoyed me and how hopeless I felt about ever loving this person. What if instead of trying to make me feel better by saying, ‘Nobody’s perfect,’ you said you believed in God’s power to transform me into a radical person who pays loving attention to those who annoy me? What if you prayed for me about this? What if later that day you encountered an annoying person and, without thinking, treated that person with kindness and attentiveness—partly because of the transforming effect of our conversation about the kingdom personality?”
It’s a fantastic shift in thinking from “look what a mess I am” to “look how amazing God’s power is to transform us, even me, into a person characterized by his Spirit.” And having others committed to that same vision is powerful! “What if,” indeed.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Love=Relationships
I talked to a friend today about this whole love thing. She has a friend who doesn’t treat her well – or at least, who certainly doesn’t meet her expectations for how a friend should treat her. We got into a conversation about whether love and relationship are the same thing. I have to say “no.”
To oversimplify, God=love. But Christians would say not everyone has a relationship with God. People are free to choose to either pursue a relationship or not pursue one. Does that mean God does not love them? Of course not. In fact, that he loves them while they reject him proves the depth of his love.
This is the advice I gave my friend about her friend…it’s what I’ve done twice, with mixed results.
1. Decide whether or not you’re willing to love them without getting anything in return. If you are, read 1 Corinthians 13 (aka “the love chapter”) to find out how love does – and does not – behave. Then,
2. Contact them. In a sweet & humble manner (because that’s how love acts), tell them that you have expectations for them that they are not meeting, and as a result you’re feeling hurt/rejected/angry.
2. Ask for their forgiveness for having imposed your expectations on them. Share where you’re at. Tell them you want to love them without conditions … regardless of their response. Tell them why you think they’re a great person, and someone you want to establish a friendship with.
3. Ask if they are willing/interested in doing certain things to maintain a friendship with you (pick up the phone when they call, have lunch once a month, whatever) – but try to make it clear you’re making a request based on love, not guilt or expectation.
4. Demonstrate love to them no matter how they respond.
Yeah. I really don’t know if that’s good advice or not. Once, I tried it and it was painfully uncomfortable. My pseudo-friend looked at me like I had two heads, both of which were about to bite her. And she never spoke to me again. But the second time (different friend, obviously), with considerably more humor and less drama, my friend and I broke down walls and solidified a long-term friendship. So you tell me: effective, weirdly uncomfortable, or a bit of both?
And then there’s the situations where you’re the friend who hasn’t been such a “friend” … and yes, I’ve been in this position too. And I’ve had someone go through the above process with me on the receiving end! I think I looked at her like she had two heads. But we’re still friends. Anyway, here’s what worked for me then:
1. Consider what you’re willing/able to invest in the relationship. 2. Humbly, demonstrate love as you communicate what you’re willing to offer. 3. Don’t offer more than you a) want to and b) reasonably can.
Finally, here's a snapshot of one of my dearest friends. She is overloaded with work and kids and volunteering and running her household. She has very little time for me. She doesn’t call me, rarely texts me, and when we get together I’m always the one to schedule it and go to where she is. And you know what? We have a fabulous time together and I love it. Do I wish she would make more effort? Sure, sometimes. But I’m learning to love her without expectation, to take what she has to offer and enjoy it fully without allowing it to be corrupted by my own expectations. It really does work! And it cuts down amazingly on the amount of rejection/bitterness/crankiness in my life! Yes, it really is all about freedom to love without expectation.
So, does love=relationship? I don’t think so, but they sure do play nice together when you let them.
To oversimplify, God=love. But Christians would say not everyone has a relationship with God. People are free to choose to either pursue a relationship or not pursue one. Does that mean God does not love them? Of course not. In fact, that he loves them while they reject him proves the depth of his love.
This is the advice I gave my friend about her friend…it’s what I’ve done twice, with mixed results.
1. Decide whether or not you’re willing to love them without getting anything in return. If you are, read 1 Corinthians 13 (aka “the love chapter”) to find out how love does – and does not – behave. Then,
2. Contact them. In a sweet & humble manner (because that’s how love acts), tell them that you have expectations for them that they are not meeting, and as a result you’re feeling hurt/rejected/angry.
2. Ask for their forgiveness for having imposed your expectations on them. Share where you’re at. Tell them you want to love them without conditions … regardless of their response. Tell them why you think they’re a great person, and someone you want to establish a friendship with.
3. Ask if they are willing/interested in doing certain things to maintain a friendship with you (pick up the phone when they call, have lunch once a month, whatever) – but try to make it clear you’re making a request based on love, not guilt or expectation.
4. Demonstrate love to them no matter how they respond.
Yeah. I really don’t know if that’s good advice or not. Once, I tried it and it was painfully uncomfortable. My pseudo-friend looked at me like I had two heads, both of which were about to bite her. And she never spoke to me again. But the second time (different friend, obviously), with considerably more humor and less drama, my friend and I broke down walls and solidified a long-term friendship. So you tell me: effective, weirdly uncomfortable, or a bit of both?
And then there’s the situations where you’re the friend who hasn’t been such a “friend” … and yes, I’ve been in this position too. And I’ve had someone go through the above process with me on the receiving end! I think I looked at her like she had two heads. But we’re still friends. Anyway, here’s what worked for me then:
1. Consider what you’re willing/able to invest in the relationship. 2. Humbly, demonstrate love as you communicate what you’re willing to offer. 3. Don’t offer more than you a) want to and b) reasonably can.
Finally, here's a snapshot of one of my dearest friends. She is overloaded with work and kids and volunteering and running her household. She has very little time for me. She doesn’t call me, rarely texts me, and when we get together I’m always the one to schedule it and go to where she is. And you know what? We have a fabulous time together and I love it. Do I wish she would make more effort? Sure, sometimes. But I’m learning to love her without expectation, to take what she has to offer and enjoy it fully without allowing it to be corrupted by my own expectations. It really does work! And it cuts down amazingly on the amount of rejection/bitterness/crankiness in my life! Yes, it really is all about freedom to love without expectation.
So, does love=relationship? I don’t think so, but they sure do play nice together when you let them.
Love Expectations, Addendum
Hi. Just wanted to clarify something from my last post. My issues with expectations toward my sister was a reflection of my insecurities and neediness, not a reflection on her. She has always treated me with extraordinary kindness, mercy and love. I could not ask for a better friend or sister…even so, I have issues! And releasing her from my expectations was about me learning how to love her, not about how she loved me. She is, and has always been, an amazing friend to me! Thanks, Lis!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Love Expectations
I love my sister. She’s just about the best thing in the world. We have a lot of fun together no matter what we do, and we can talk for hours. Plus she’s the best person to shop with. We have an incredible relationship, for which I’ve very thankful.
It wasn’t always like this. We’ve always been close, but sometimes we fought the way sisters or wild cats do. There was a lot of back and forth in the old days, not unlike any friendship.
You know how friendships are governed by all these rules? “A friend does this,” or “a friend would never do that.” Friends – especially sisters – are expected to say certain things, not say other things, and behave certain ways depending on the situation.
The problem is, people can’t agree on friendship expectations. Like who calls who when. It always annoys me when people say to me, “you never call me!” All I can think is, don’t you have a phone too?
Friends, and sisters, let you down. With my sister, I used to think about how I could make her love me. Like a great employee, how could I make myself indispensable to her so that she would keep me around even though I continued to screw up from time to time? I told her once, trying to solidify our friendship, that she had to love me because we were related. Wisely, she responded, “I don’t have to love you.”
She’s right. She doesn’t have to love me, or be my friend. I took this realization hard. I could never do enough or be enough to make her love me. The force of my will was not strong enough. All I could do was love her.
(By now you’re thinking “duh.” Sometimes it takes me a while to put these things together.)
And then I realized that’s exactly how God is toward us. He just loves us, without requiring anything in return. Romans 5:8 says, “This is how God demonstrated his love for us: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Paul (the author of Romans) also phrases it this way: while we were still enemies of Christ, he died for us.
God is always taking the first step toward us, and making peace with us before we do anything to deserve or earn it. He doesn’t love us because we deserve it. He just loves us.
And that’s how I decided to love my sister. It was an experiment. I would love her just because I wanted to love her, without expecting anything back from her. If she loved me, great! If she didn’t love me, that would be sad but I would be okay with it. Whether or not she liked me or forgave me or was nice to me would have nothing to do with how I loved her.
It was the most freeing experiment of my life. I can’t believe what I have learned from it. Now, both of us are free from my expectations … whether or not she behaves like I think she should has no power over our friendship. I am her friend because I want to be her friend, not because she’s nice to me or says the right things or calls me often enough. I just love her.
I don’t even know how to explain the freedom that comes from this. It has spilled over into so many areas of my life. I used to think that if my husband broke certain rules I would divorce him, no question. Now, I can’t imagine my marriage being held hostage to such rules. Now I am free to love him because I choose to, not because of how he behaves.
None of this means that I don’t have healthy boundaries or that I’m a doormat. Love really is about freedom, not chains. And I think the only way I can continue such an experiment is because I know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. I can love her that way because I know I am loved that way. I have experienced God’s love so profoundly that it enables me to love others. Isaiah 31:3 says, “I have loved you with an everlasting glove. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”
Have you experienced someone loving you without expectation? What do you expect of your friends?
It wasn’t always like this. We’ve always been close, but sometimes we fought the way sisters or wild cats do. There was a lot of back and forth in the old days, not unlike any friendship.
You know how friendships are governed by all these rules? “A friend does this,” or “a friend would never do that.” Friends – especially sisters – are expected to say certain things, not say other things, and behave certain ways depending on the situation.
The problem is, people can’t agree on friendship expectations. Like who calls who when. It always annoys me when people say to me, “you never call me!” All I can think is, don’t you have a phone too?
Friends, and sisters, let you down. With my sister, I used to think about how I could make her love me. Like a great employee, how could I make myself indispensable to her so that she would keep me around even though I continued to screw up from time to time? I told her once, trying to solidify our friendship, that she had to love me because we were related. Wisely, she responded, “I don’t have to love you.”
She’s right. She doesn’t have to love me, or be my friend. I took this realization hard. I could never do enough or be enough to make her love me. The force of my will was not strong enough. All I could do was love her.
(By now you’re thinking “duh.” Sometimes it takes me a while to put these things together.)
And then I realized that’s exactly how God is toward us. He just loves us, without requiring anything in return. Romans 5:8 says, “This is how God demonstrated his love for us: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Paul (the author of Romans) also phrases it this way: while we were still enemies of Christ, he died for us.
God is always taking the first step toward us, and making peace with us before we do anything to deserve or earn it. He doesn’t love us because we deserve it. He just loves us.
And that’s how I decided to love my sister. It was an experiment. I would love her just because I wanted to love her, without expecting anything back from her. If she loved me, great! If she didn’t love me, that would be sad but I would be okay with it. Whether or not she liked me or forgave me or was nice to me would have nothing to do with how I loved her.
It was the most freeing experiment of my life. I can’t believe what I have learned from it. Now, both of us are free from my expectations … whether or not she behaves like I think she should has no power over our friendship. I am her friend because I want to be her friend, not because she’s nice to me or says the right things or calls me often enough. I just love her.
I don’t even know how to explain the freedom that comes from this. It has spilled over into so many areas of my life. I used to think that if my husband broke certain rules I would divorce him, no question. Now, I can’t imagine my marriage being held hostage to such rules. Now I am free to love him because I choose to, not because of how he behaves.
None of this means that I don’t have healthy boundaries or that I’m a doormat. Love really is about freedom, not chains. And I think the only way I can continue such an experiment is because I know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. I can love her that way because I know I am loved that way. I have experienced God’s love so profoundly that it enables me to love others. Isaiah 31:3 says, “I have loved you with an everlasting glove. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”
Have you experienced someone loving you without expectation? What do you expect of your friends?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
"Sex, Drugs, Rock’n’Roll & Jesus," part three
The title really doesn’t fit this time – I’m not sure if there’s any sex or rock’n’roll, but there’s certainly violence. As I was drafting this blog mini-series, this blog remix popped up on my Newsgator (the program I use to subscribe to blogs). It’s a review of the movie Man on Fire, and why “I had an easier time connecting with God in the movie, ‘Man on Fire’ than I did in ‘The Passion of the Christ,’” as Jon lays it out in the first sentence. Here’s my favorite paragraph from the post, although I know you will all click HERE to read the whole thing.
There is no more beautiful love story than that of a person who lays aside all power, all authority, all justice, and walks willingly to certain death to redeem their beloved.
I wish I could write another six pages about this story, the story of a man who, in the prime of his life, takes off his robes of power and allows lesser men to sacrifice him.
But you have to read Jon’s blog first.
“I missed it the first ten times I saw the movie. Missed that I’m Pita. I’ve lived most of my life under the stairs in a dark, dirty cage. But unlike Pita, this is the place I deserve. For although she did not ask to be kidnapped or receive this experience as a consequence of her actions, I did. If this were the story of my life, justice would have already been served. The prisoner’s life is the life I deserve. But God is like Creasy. In Isaiah 30:18 it says ‘he rises to show you compassion.’”
There is no more beautiful love story than that of a person who lays aside all power, all authority, all justice, and walks willingly to certain death to redeem their beloved.
I wish I could write another six pages about this story, the story of a man who, in the prime of his life, takes off his robes of power and allows lesser men to sacrifice him.
But you have to read Jon’s blog first.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
"Sex, Drugs, Rock’n’Roll & Jesus," part two
Okay, so maybe there wasn’t any rock’n’roll. But D wrote some groovin’ tunes, and I think that counts.
I’ve been thinking about the rescue/redemption theme of Moulin Rouge since we picked it to be the next video for our group weeks ago. (Now that we’ve done it, the actual next one is The Philadelphia Story.) I love the “freedom, beauty, truth and love” theme of Moulin Rouge, because I so believe in those things – I believe they exist, and they’re God. God is love, we always say. So God is freedom. God is truth. God is beauty. And I love the freedom, beauty and truth of knowing that God is a God who rescues us, no matter how deep and dirty the pit, and he redeems us, no matter what the cost.
It’s like the story of D.
D wasn’t a flashy entertainer like Satine, but D was a whore & an adulterer. And did I mention a liar and murderer? D was pretty down & dirty. I think the list of lovers ran well into the hundreds … and the marriages were countless. D was a bad parent, too, and the mistakes D made were enormous. Yet God never gave up on D. In fact, throughout D’s life, though D’s relationship with God ebbed like the tide, God held D up as an example – a good example – of a person who loved God wholeheartedly, and who God loved unreservedly.
It’s not just that God loves a rescue story ... he loves a comeback too. Like Satine, like D, after we’ve been rescued, sometimes we still fall pretty hard, right back into the muck we got out of. Sometimes we do the wrong things for the right reasons, like Satine, and sometimes we forget what’s right and wrong, like D. The great thing about God is that he’s the God of second chances.
God knew the kind of person D was, and the kind of mistakes D would continue to make throughout life … and none of it gave God pause. This is what D wrote about their relationship: “God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask your aid.”*
And you know, God himself said that D – King David – was a man after God’s own heart. Not because he was a murdering whore, and not exactly in spite of it, but through it. Whatever his ups and downs, David was repentant. I wish he hadn’t made his mistakes to begin with, but he did. And God honored him because when he messed up, he admitted it, repented, and made things as right as he could. While David changed, God’s love for him never did. What do you do with that? When in your life have you needed that kind of love?
*Psalm 73:26 & 86:5
I’ve been thinking about the rescue/redemption theme of Moulin Rouge since we picked it to be the next video for our group weeks ago. (Now that we’ve done it, the actual next one is The Philadelphia Story.) I love the “freedom, beauty, truth and love” theme of Moulin Rouge, because I so believe in those things – I believe they exist, and they’re God. God is love, we always say. So God is freedom. God is truth. God is beauty. And I love the freedom, beauty and truth of knowing that God is a God who rescues us, no matter how deep and dirty the pit, and he redeems us, no matter what the cost.
It’s like the story of D.
D wasn’t a flashy entertainer like Satine, but D was a whore & an adulterer. And did I mention a liar and murderer? D was pretty down & dirty. I think the list of lovers ran well into the hundreds … and the marriages were countless. D was a bad parent, too, and the mistakes D made were enormous. Yet God never gave up on D. In fact, throughout D’s life, though D’s relationship with God ebbed like the tide, God held D up as an example – a good example – of a person who loved God wholeheartedly, and who God loved unreservedly.
It’s not just that God loves a rescue story ... he loves a comeback too. Like Satine, like D, after we’ve been rescued, sometimes we still fall pretty hard, right back into the muck we got out of. Sometimes we do the wrong things for the right reasons, like Satine, and sometimes we forget what’s right and wrong, like D. The great thing about God is that he’s the God of second chances.
God knew the kind of person D was, and the kind of mistakes D would continue to make throughout life … and none of it gave God pause. This is what D wrote about their relationship: “God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask your aid.”*
And you know, God himself said that D – King David – was a man after God’s own heart. Not because he was a murdering whore, and not exactly in spite of it, but through it. Whatever his ups and downs, David was repentant. I wish he hadn’t made his mistakes to begin with, but he did. And God honored him because when he messed up, he admitted it, repented, and made things as right as he could. While David changed, God’s love for him never did. What do you do with that? When in your life have you needed that kind of love?
*Psalm 73:26 & 86:5
Friday, March 27, 2009
"Sex, Drugs, Rock’n’Roll, & Jesus"
Okay, there’s no drugs. But Absinthe was supposed to be a pretty wacky drink, so I think it counts.
I’m in a life group for single women, ages 18-25, where we eat dinner and watch a movie and then discuss the movie along with biblical themes. (Since I’m neither single nor under 25, you might have guessed that I’m the hostess.) This week we watched one of my favorite romances. So, as opposed to my previous movie post, I’ll tell you what this one’s called, so you can A) judge me for hosting a bible study on it, or B) go watch it yourself.
Here’s what “Dinner & A Movie: Chick Flicks 2” from Group Publishing, our curriculum, says about the flick in question, Moulin Rouge:
I don’t write movie reviews anymore, but let me tell you about a few of my favorite scenes: Satine one minute sings about her dream of a new life – “someday I’ll fly away/leave all this to yesterday” – and the next acknowledges the hopelessness of such a dream – “why live life from dream to dream/and dread the day when dreaming ends?” She at once has both hope and no hope; she yearns for change, but thinks she will never be free, and knows what even a small measure of freedom will cost her. She is trapped by her past and by her own view of her self-worth. As she later shouts to her father figure/pimp, “My whole life you made me believe I was only worth what someone would pay for me.” But now she has real hope for the first time: “Christian loves me, and we’re going away…”
Even after Christian’s love for her changes her life, she still falls back into her old patterns – she does the wrong things for the right reasons. This is what reminds me of our relationship with God. Not only does he come right down into whatever mess we’re in and love us in the middle of it – giving us true freedom, hope and love – he remains faithful to us when we screw it up and push him away. 2 Timothy 2:13 says, “[Even] if we are unfaithful, He remains faithful.”
Just like the aforementioned Gomar, wife to the prophet Hosea. Gomar wasn’t a nice, sweet hooker like Satine or Vivianne (Pretty Woman) who fell into the trap of prostitution to survive. She was kinda nasty. Her biblical portrait is not pretty. And even after Hosea marries her, rescuing her from a life of misery, she falls back into the trap. She leaves her husband, sells her body and winds up a slave. And what does Hosea do? What the Lord advises: “Go and love your wife again.” So Hosea writes in chapter 3 of his self-titled book, “So I bought her back.” The study section of my bible says this: “No matter how low we sink, God is willing to buy us back – to redeem us – to lift us up again.”
Now that’s something worth living for. In Jeremiah 31:3, God says: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; with unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” As Moulin Rouge states many times, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
I’m in a life group for single women, ages 18-25, where we eat dinner and watch a movie and then discuss the movie along with biblical themes. (Since I’m neither single nor under 25, you might have guessed that I’m the hostess.) This week we watched one of my favorite romances. So, as opposed to my previous movie post, I’ll tell you what this one’s called, so you can A) judge me for hosting a bible study on it, or B) go watch it yourself.
Here’s what “Dinner & A Movie: Chick Flicks 2” from Group Publishing, our curriculum, says about the flick in question, Moulin Rouge:
“While they may or may not have known it, the creators of Moulin Rouge! offer us a picture of Christlike love. Our young hero, Christian, ventures into a sinful and lost world in search of his love. Instead of being taken up by that lost world, he brings his own purity of heart into it – rescuing his beloved Satine from the grips of a desperate and sinful life. It recalls the biblical story of Hosea and Gomer as well as Christ’s own time on earth.”
I don’t write movie reviews anymore, but let me tell you about a few of my favorite scenes: Satine one minute sings about her dream of a new life – “someday I’ll fly away/leave all this to yesterday” – and the next acknowledges the hopelessness of such a dream – “why live life from dream to dream/and dread the day when dreaming ends?” She at once has both hope and no hope; she yearns for change, but thinks she will never be free, and knows what even a small measure of freedom will cost her. She is trapped by her past and by her own view of her self-worth. As she later shouts to her father figure/pimp, “My whole life you made me believe I was only worth what someone would pay for me.” But now she has real hope for the first time: “Christian loves me, and we’re going away…”
Even after Christian’s love for her changes her life, she still falls back into her old patterns – she does the wrong things for the right reasons. This is what reminds me of our relationship with God. Not only does he come right down into whatever mess we’re in and love us in the middle of it – giving us true freedom, hope and love – he remains faithful to us when we screw it up and push him away. 2 Timothy 2:13 says, “[Even] if we are unfaithful, He remains faithful.”
Just like the aforementioned Gomar, wife to the prophet Hosea. Gomar wasn’t a nice, sweet hooker like Satine or Vivianne (Pretty Woman) who fell into the trap of prostitution to survive. She was kinda nasty. Her biblical portrait is not pretty. And even after Hosea marries her, rescuing her from a life of misery, she falls back into the trap. She leaves her husband, sells her body and winds up a slave. And what does Hosea do? What the Lord advises: “Go and love your wife again.” So Hosea writes in chapter 3 of his self-titled book, “So I bought her back.” The study section of my bible says this: “No matter how low we sink, God is willing to buy us back – to redeem us – to lift us up again.”
Now that’s something worth living for. In Jeremiah 31:3, God says: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; with unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” As Moulin Rouge states many times, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
"Gifts"
According to the Bible, we each have a special gift given to us by God. Obviously we have different personalities, different strengths and weaknesses, different tendencies and different talents. But we also, according to Romans 12:4-8, are given a “gift” by the Holy Spirit when we become followers of Christ.
It’s different from the “fruit” of the Spirit, the side-effects of having a growing relationship with God. Those are listed in Galations 5:22 – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it. Those are the things that happen naturally when we’re in a growing relationship with God, because that’s what blossoms in our lives when we’re obedient and engaged. It’s an organic thing. You plant closeness with God, you grow love, joy, peace, patience, etc.
Being a rather “particular” person (let’s say) I tend to get hung up a lot on “shoulds,” as in, I should be perfect. It’s quite the burden. Self-inflicted, of course. God never told me I should be the best at everything and play all the parts in the musical of my life. In fact, he seems to be saying in Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 that I will play only one role in the “body” of Christ. Hand, foot, armpit...not all three.
I think, in this modern age of multi-tasking, that we assume the “one” part of gifting isn’t a hard rule. I’ve heard people say you often get two or three. Why excel in one area when we could be reasonably good in three?
It leaves me feeling underachieved. I don’t need any help being my own biggest critic. I don’t need encouragement to trot out the “shoulds” and berate myself. So I find it very liberating to realize that God only expects me to be really, really good at one thing: the one thing he himself has given me. It takes a lot of the pressure off. Pouring all my energy into my “one thing” is exciting and fun. As opposed to spreading myself thinner and thinner trying to be good at everything. (It’s almost as freeing as when I realized that not everyone is going to like me, and that’s okay. It was quite the revelation. It freed me from trying to make everyone like me, which can be exhausting. Now I just accept that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea; in fact, some wonderful people can’t stand me at all. And that’s fine. We can respect each other without being besties.)
Have you ever taken one of those “gift” assessment tests that indicate your level of spiritual gifting? Do you have a sense of how God may have especially gifted you to participate in the body of Christ? What are you doing about that?
(And no, unfortunately, sarcasm is not a spiritual gift. Nor crafting. Bummer.)
It’s different from the “fruit” of the Spirit, the side-effects of having a growing relationship with God. Those are listed in Galations 5:22 – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it. Those are the things that happen naturally when we’re in a growing relationship with God, because that’s what blossoms in our lives when we’re obedient and engaged. It’s an organic thing. You plant closeness with God, you grow love, joy, peace, patience, etc.
Being a rather “particular” person (let’s say) I tend to get hung up a lot on “shoulds,” as in, I should be perfect. It’s quite the burden. Self-inflicted, of course. God never told me I should be the best at everything and play all the parts in the musical of my life. In fact, he seems to be saying in Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 that I will play only one role in the “body” of Christ. Hand, foot, armpit...not all three.
I think, in this modern age of multi-tasking, that we assume the “one” part of gifting isn’t a hard rule. I’ve heard people say you often get two or three. Why excel in one area when we could be reasonably good in three?
It leaves me feeling underachieved. I don’t need any help being my own biggest critic. I don’t need encouragement to trot out the “shoulds” and berate myself. So I find it very liberating to realize that God only expects me to be really, really good at one thing: the one thing he himself has given me. It takes a lot of the pressure off. Pouring all my energy into my “one thing” is exciting and fun. As opposed to spreading myself thinner and thinner trying to be good at everything. (It’s almost as freeing as when I realized that not everyone is going to like me, and that’s okay. It was quite the revelation. It freed me from trying to make everyone like me, which can be exhausting. Now I just accept that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea; in fact, some wonderful people can’t stand me at all. And that’s fine. We can respect each other without being besties.)
Have you ever taken one of those “gift” assessment tests that indicate your level of spiritual gifting? Do you have a sense of how God may have especially gifted you to participate in the body of Christ? What are you doing about that?
(And no, unfortunately, sarcasm is not a spiritual gift. Nor crafting. Bummer.)
Thursday, February 26, 2009
"God Knows Who I Am"
I have this little piece of paper on my wall. It says, "God knows who you are." It's from a post on a funny blog I read, "Stuff Christians Like," which occasionally also has profound stuff. Here's the beginning of that post:
I know a lot of you don't like links. Just reading this blog is enough effort for you. But please, click here and read Jon's blog about what God says to us. It has been hanging above my desk for three months, and every time I read it I'm reminded of how firmly God is in my corner (yours, too).
As I love to say, God is not a communist.
One of the first things you hear whenever you start an adventure is the phrase, “Who are you to think you’re qualified to do that?”
Whether it’s a new job, a new ministry, a new blog or simply a new conversation with a neighbor, this question is bound to pop up. A friend will say it. A family member will say it. Someone well intentioned and close to you will say it. And eventually, after hearing “Who are you” or “Who do you think you are” enough times, you’ll start to hear it inside.
I know a lot of you don't like links. Just reading this blog is enough effort for you. But please, click here and read Jon's blog about what God says to us. It has been hanging above my desk for three months, and every time I read it I'm reminded of how firmly God is in my corner (yours, too).
As I love to say, God is not a communist.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
"Express Cook"
I work with an amazing staff at Fellowship, and one of those amazing peeps is Jeff Ream, Worship Pastor. Now, I know that the title might fool some of you, but this guy is more than just a pretty voice. I asked him if I could republish what he put on his blog last week, and he graciously said yes. I know you'll love it as much as I did. And, by the way, if you want to check out his blog, it's linked here.
Hostage Thoughts
This morning has been a good start to the week. Monday is my day off so I have the boys home with me today. I started the day off by putting a k-cup in my coffee machine, 20 seconds later a perfect cup of coffee. Then I cracked a few eggs, beat them, tossed in cheese and bacon bits, and poured it into our GT - Express (As seen on TV - it was a gift) cooker and 4 minutes later…beautiful yummy omelets.
Isn’t technology incredible these days. Technology has made our lives easier in so many ways. We throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave and hit a button…4 minutes later we have perfect movie theater popcorn without the lines and a $9 movie ticket. We live in an express world.
As I reflect on the past several weeks of our series entitled “Hostage” I wish somehow that the problems in my life, mind, and heart could be fixed as easily as I fixed breakfast this morning. I wish my fears could instantly vanish, I wish my anxious heart would just one day wake up and be calmed. I wish I could hit the “express cook” on my spiritual journey and immediately find myself having arrived.
But that’s not how it is.
Philippians 2:12 puts it this way.
Wow, that’s not so encouraging. One chapter later in Philippians 3:12 it says
Here we find Paul, the guy who wrote more of the New Testament than anyone else giving insight to his own struggles, admitting that he doesn’t have it all together either.
Why in the Christian realm of society do we think that we have to be perfect? Why are we afraid to admit like Paul that we don’t have it all together? How can we be real with others if we never take our masks of perfection off?
This brings me back to our HOSTAGE series. Let me take my mask off and let you know that this series has totally rocked me to my core. I have had to admit who I really am. I have had to admit my struggles. I have come to the place where I have to admit that I cannot fix them myself. I do not hold the keys to the chains that weigh me down. Jesus Christ does. He wants to free me from my struggles. We wants me to not hold on to the things that I do. God wants to free me just as He wants to free you.
This series has once again helped me look into the mirror of my soul and my heart.
I am so glad that God put this series on John’s heart. God knew the incredible work that needed to take place in so many lives.
So God, continue to work as we continue to be real!
Hostage Thoughts
This morning has been a good start to the week. Monday is my day off so I have the boys home with me today. I started the day off by putting a k-cup in my coffee machine, 20 seconds later a perfect cup of coffee. Then I cracked a few eggs, beat them, tossed in cheese and bacon bits, and poured it into our GT - Express (As seen on TV - it was a gift) cooker and 4 minutes later…beautiful yummy omelets.
Isn’t technology incredible these days. Technology has made our lives easier in so many ways. We throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave and hit a button…4 minutes later we have perfect movie theater popcorn without the lines and a $9 movie ticket. We live in an express world.
As I reflect on the past several weeks of our series entitled “Hostage” I wish somehow that the problems in my life, mind, and heart could be fixed as easily as I fixed breakfast this morning. I wish my fears could instantly vanish, I wish my anxious heart would just one day wake up and be calmed. I wish I could hit the “express cook” on my spiritual journey and immediately find myself having arrived.
But that’s not how it is.
Philippians 2:12 puts it this way.
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,
Wow, that’s not so encouraging. One chapter later in Philippians 3:12 it says
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.”
Here we find Paul, the guy who wrote more of the New Testament than anyone else giving insight to his own struggles, admitting that he doesn’t have it all together either.
Why in the Christian realm of society do we think that we have to be perfect? Why are we afraid to admit like Paul that we don’t have it all together? How can we be real with others if we never take our masks of perfection off?
This brings me back to our HOSTAGE series. Let me take my mask off and let you know that this series has totally rocked me to my core. I have had to admit who I really am. I have had to admit my struggles. I have come to the place where I have to admit that I cannot fix them myself. I do not hold the keys to the chains that weigh me down. Jesus Christ does. He wants to free me from my struggles. We wants me to not hold on to the things that I do. God wants to free me just as He wants to free you.
This series has once again helped me look into the mirror of my soul and my heart.
I am so glad that God put this series on John’s heart. God knew the incredible work that needed to take place in so many lives.
So God, continue to work as we continue to be real!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Random Things
So, I know this isn’t a typical post from me, but I just love those chain emails/Facebook threads where you write in stuff about yourself, send it to your friends, and then get all their replies back with stuff about them. Love it, love it, love it! Can’t collect too many random facts about your friends. How else will you know how to blackmail them later?
So, since I’m busily gallivanting about this week, thought I’d break the devotional blogging mold and post my reply to the latest Facebook thread my friends are sending me. After you’ve read it, send me some random facts about YOU!
25 Random Things About Me
1. I’m from Alaska
2. I love to read books (my fav: The Preservationist)
3. I love my pets! Scamp, Whiskers, Tiggs and Samson
4. English Breakfast is my favorite drink (it’s tea)
5. I’m obsessed with my nephews
6. My job can be really, really fun – esp. the research
7. TV is great! I love HGTV, House and BBC America (Top Gear)
8. Anxiety stresses me out
9. My goats’ names are Handsome Rob and Chip
10. I love teeny-bopper movies (like She’s The Man)
11. My husband really is God’s gift
12. I actually like living in PA
13. Can’t wait for my sister to move here!
14. I collect AKan art by Cherie Govertson-Greer
15. I majored in American Lit
16. Starbucks is way too much fun (green tea latte w/ extra matcha)
17. Travel is my accidental hobby
18. Quilting, scrapbooking and knitting are my intentional hobbies
19. I spin my own yarn
20. I struggle with my attitude … I think it’s my “thorn”
21. If I could be a fictional character for a day, it would be Sydney Bristow
22. Or Veronica Mars
23. Or Buffy (in the Angel years)
24. I’m not organized but I’m creative
25. I have a black bear on my railing (and a fox, beaver, caribou…)
So, since I’m busily gallivanting about this week, thought I’d break the devotional blogging mold and post my reply to the latest Facebook thread my friends are sending me. After you’ve read it, send me some random facts about YOU!
25 Random Things About Me
1. I’m from Alaska
2. I love to read books (my fav: The Preservationist)
3. I love my pets! Scamp, Whiskers, Tiggs and Samson
4. English Breakfast is my favorite drink (it’s tea)
5. I’m obsessed with my nephews
6. My job can be really, really fun – esp. the research
7. TV is great! I love HGTV, House and BBC America (Top Gear)
8. Anxiety stresses me out
9. My goats’ names are Handsome Rob and Chip
10. I love teeny-bopper movies (like She’s The Man)
11. My husband really is God’s gift
12. I actually like living in PA
13. Can’t wait for my sister to move here!
14. I collect AKan art by Cherie Govertson-Greer
15. I majored in American Lit
16. Starbucks is way too much fun (green tea latte w/ extra matcha)
17. Travel is my accidental hobby
18. Quilting, scrapbooking and knitting are my intentional hobbies
19. I spin my own yarn
20. I struggle with my attitude … I think it’s my “thorn”
21. If I could be a fictional character for a day, it would be Sydney Bristow
22. Or Veronica Mars
23. Or Buffy (in the Angel years)
24. I’m not organized but I’m creative
25. I have a black bear on my railing (and a fox, beaver, caribou…)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Bowling for Bitterness
At life group the other night, our leader prepared us for serious discussion with a little Wii bowling. In a close girls vs. guys game, the guys pulled ahead for the win. Congrats, guys. It was a fun start (after the pizza, of course) to a great meeting. But I think I missed how the bowling was supposed to tie in to our lesson on bitterness. Maybe the bowling trash talk was supposed to inspire some bitterness we could then reflect on. Like when the guys pulled in their ringer for a double strike, and then rubbed it in. Not that we minded.
We started with Colossians 3:12-15, which you Fellowshippers will recognize from John’s HOSTAGE talk on bitterness. “Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts, for as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.”
Seems pretty straightforward – make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you – and covers a lot of ground. But then, our intrepid leader led us further. When we’ve been offended, how do we go about preventing bitterness? He gave us four steps.
Step one: Realize that God is working through the actions of the offender. (Whoa! I told you this was going to tie in to the whole “opportunity” discussion. Though people may treat us badly, we have the option of viewing it from a broader lens and looking for how God might be working through the situation.) Genesis 50:20 – You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me into this position so I could save the lives of many people.
Step two: Thank God for the benefit he brings through each offence. James 1:2-3 – When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
Step three: Determine what character qualities God wants to develop in us through this experience. Galations 5:22-23 – The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.
Step four: Expect to suffer for doing right. There’s a lot of reasons we suffer … our own fault, others’ faults … but being good or doing the right thing doesn’t insulate us from attack. In fact, the bible says we can expect to sometimes suffer for doing good. Philippians 1:29 – You will suffer for [Christ’s] sake.
What’s going on in your life right now? Anyone you’re not too thrilled with? What hurts do you still carry from years ago? Is there any other way you could view the situation than you have been? Any opportunity for something good to come out of something bad? Here’s what God promises in Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him.
We started with Colossians 3:12-15, which you Fellowshippers will recognize from John’s HOSTAGE talk on bitterness. “Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts, for as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.”
Seems pretty straightforward – make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you – and covers a lot of ground. But then, our intrepid leader led us further. When we’ve been offended, how do we go about preventing bitterness? He gave us four steps.
Step one: Realize that God is working through the actions of the offender. (Whoa! I told you this was going to tie in to the whole “opportunity” discussion. Though people may treat us badly, we have the option of viewing it from a broader lens and looking for how God might be working through the situation.) Genesis 50:20 – You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me into this position so I could save the lives of many people.
Step two: Thank God for the benefit he brings through each offence. James 1:2-3 – When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
Step three: Determine what character qualities God wants to develop in us through this experience. Galations 5:22-23 – The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.
Step four: Expect to suffer for doing right. There’s a lot of reasons we suffer … our own fault, others’ faults … but being good or doing the right thing doesn’t insulate us from attack. In fact, the bible says we can expect to sometimes suffer for doing good. Philippians 1:29 – You will suffer for [Christ’s] sake.
What’s going on in your life right now? Anyone you’re not too thrilled with? What hurts do you still carry from years ago? Is there any other way you could view the situation than you have been? Any opportunity for something good to come out of something bad? Here’s what God promises in Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him.
Friday, January 30, 2009
"Opportunity Knocks," part two
I’m gonna have to blog about our last life group study. It was pretty cool. We’ve been doing this series at church called HOSTAGE that deals with stuff like bitterness, anger, worry, shame and addiction. It’s funny how stuff I’m blogging about often lines up with what’s going on at church. I don’t plan it, really. But you’ll see how that relates later.
Today I wanted to add something about the opportunity for redemption.
I was talking to a lady about how God can make something good out of a bad experience (that he has the power to redeem anything) and she said, what about the Holocaust?
So I had to say, “Corrie ten Boom.” Have you heard this story? It’s the true story of a Holocaust survivor who wrote a book called “The Hiding Place” about her family’s WWII experience.
In a nutshell, they hid Jews in their home until they were caught and thrown into a concentration camp. Corrie’s sister, father, brother and nephew died there. Corrie managed to survive the horrors. She wrote her book and became a famous speaker. She talked about love and forgiveness.
Then one day, at the age of 55, she was put to one of the hardest tests of her life. A man came up to her after a speaking engagement and began to talk to her. He confessed that he was a former Nazi guard at the famous Ravensbruck camp where she and her sister were tortured. He asked for her forgiveness, and held out his hand to her.
Corrie wrote later that although she had been preaching “God will give us the love to be able to forgive our enemies,” she felt no forgiveness toward the man standing in front of her. She was reluctant to even try. But she recognized the opportunity that God was giving her, so she prayed, and stretched out her hand. At that moment, she later wrote, a flood of forgiveness washed over her, and in reaching out to forgive, she found the grace and ability to do so.
“I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then,” she wrote. “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.”
Hundreds of thousands of people’s lives have been changed by The Hiding Place and Corrie’s story, not to mention the scores of Jews and resistance fighters whose lives they saved before their capture. The Holocaust was one of the darkest times in human history, an ultimate example of how evil people can be. And yet, out the ashes of hatred and genocide comes a story of personal transformation, love, forgiveness and grace. A story of amazing redemption. No one would blame Corrie for bitterness, vengeance or hatred. Yet she took the opportunity to have love, joy and peace formed in her life through her violent circumstances.
Today I wanted to add something about the opportunity for redemption.
I was talking to a lady about how God can make something good out of a bad experience (that he has the power to redeem anything) and she said, what about the Holocaust?
So I had to say, “Corrie ten Boom.” Have you heard this story? It’s the true story of a Holocaust survivor who wrote a book called “The Hiding Place” about her family’s WWII experience.
In a nutshell, they hid Jews in their home until they were caught and thrown into a concentration camp. Corrie’s sister, father, brother and nephew died there. Corrie managed to survive the horrors. She wrote her book and became a famous speaker. She talked about love and forgiveness.
Then one day, at the age of 55, she was put to one of the hardest tests of her life. A man came up to her after a speaking engagement and began to talk to her. He confessed that he was a former Nazi guard at the famous Ravensbruck camp where she and her sister were tortured. He asked for her forgiveness, and held out his hand to her.
Corrie wrote later that although she had been preaching “God will give us the love to be able to forgive our enemies,” she felt no forgiveness toward the man standing in front of her. She was reluctant to even try. But she recognized the opportunity that God was giving her, so she prayed, and stretched out her hand. At that moment, she later wrote, a flood of forgiveness washed over her, and in reaching out to forgive, she found the grace and ability to do so.
“I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then,” she wrote. “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.”
Hundreds of thousands of people’s lives have been changed by The Hiding Place and Corrie’s story, not to mention the scores of Jews and resistance fighters whose lives they saved before their capture. The Holocaust was one of the darkest times in human history, an ultimate example of how evil people can be. And yet, out the ashes of hatred and genocide comes a story of personal transformation, love, forgiveness and grace. A story of amazing redemption. No one would blame Corrie for bitterness, vengeance or hatred. Yet she took the opportunity to have love, joy and peace formed in her life through her violent circumstances.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Opportunity Knocks
Sometimes it knocks me on my head. Sometimes it knocks me on my ass.
Many respected theologians believe that God preordains everything in our lives. I’m not one of them. Well, I’m not a respected theologian either.
I think that free will is essential to true love. I think people have to be able to choose the wrong things in order for it to mean something that they choose the right things. I think God pretty much lets us do whatever we want. I think sometimes people choose to do bad things that hurt other people. I think God lets them, even when it means that bad things happen to good people. I don’t think God plays favorites.
But more than anything else, more than any other theological idea, I believe in redemption. I think that God can redeem anything. Yep, anything. I don’t think any situation is too bad for God to bring something shockingly beautiful and amazing out of it.
I think that God is really into opportunity.
You know that story in the book of Matthew, where Jesus is teaching and this woman comes up and begs him for help and he ignores her? The one in 15:21-28.
I always wondered why Jesus was initially so cold and uncaring toward her. Then I heard someone say that he wasn’t, really. They said that Jesus saw right into her heart and knew her faith, and so he opened the door for her to demonstrate it. They say that he said “it isn’t right to throw food to the dogs” so that she had the opportunity to say “even dogs eat the scraps” and thus demonstrate her faith to the world. They say this story illustrates Jesus’ commitment to opportunity.
It makes me wonder, is the crummy stuff in my life not just the result of other’s poor choices (and often, my own) but something more? Is it an opportunity for me to respond with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control?
How often do we flip our circumstances upside down and look at them from this perspective? That whatever’s going on in our life, especially the unpleasant stuff, is simply an opportunity. We can either demonstrate our faith to the world, or not.
Many respected theologians believe that God preordains everything in our lives. I’m not one of them. Well, I’m not a respected theologian either.
I think that free will is essential to true love. I think people have to be able to choose the wrong things in order for it to mean something that they choose the right things. I think God pretty much lets us do whatever we want. I think sometimes people choose to do bad things that hurt other people. I think God lets them, even when it means that bad things happen to good people. I don’t think God plays favorites.
But more than anything else, more than any other theological idea, I believe in redemption. I think that God can redeem anything. Yep, anything. I don’t think any situation is too bad for God to bring something shockingly beautiful and amazing out of it.
I think that God is really into opportunity.
You know that story in the book of Matthew, where Jesus is teaching and this woman comes up and begs him for help and he ignores her? The one in 15:21-28.
Then Jesus left Galilee and went north to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Gentile woman who lived there came to him, pleading, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! For my daughter is possessed by a demon that torments her severely.” But Jesus gave her no reply, not even a word. Then his disciples urged him to send her away. “Tell her to go away,” they said. “She is bothering us with all her begging.”
Then Jesus said to the woman, “I was sent only to help God’s lost sheep—the people of Israel.” But she came and worshiped him, pleading again, “Lord, help me!”
Jesus responded, “It isn’t right to take food from the children and throw it to the dogs.” She replied, “That’s true, Lord, but even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.”
“Dear woman,” Jesus said to her, “your faith is great. Your request is granted.” And her daughter was instantly healed.
I always wondered why Jesus was initially so cold and uncaring toward her. Then I heard someone say that he wasn’t, really. They said that Jesus saw right into her heart and knew her faith, and so he opened the door for her to demonstrate it. They say that he said “it isn’t right to throw food to the dogs” so that she had the opportunity to say “even dogs eat the scraps” and thus demonstrate her faith to the world. They say this story illustrates Jesus’ commitment to opportunity.
It makes me wonder, is the crummy stuff in my life not just the result of other’s poor choices (and often, my own) but something more? Is it an opportunity for me to respond with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control?
How often do we flip our circumstances upside down and look at them from this perspective? That whatever’s going on in our life, especially the unpleasant stuff, is simply an opportunity. We can either demonstrate our faith to the world, or not.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Knowledge vs Obedience
Naturally, it’s easier to say than do. Saying only takes a few muscles; doing takes much more energy.
Last night I started to get into it with someone. They were being a jerk, and I got mad. I wanted to “bop” them, as my mother-in-law puts it.
And, of course, I immediately thought of that little five-part blog I wrote mere days ago … you know, the one about making allowances for other’s faults, and forgiving anyone who offends you.
Yikes.
Why do I do this to myself?
One of my mentors tells me that we shouldn’t be so eager to learn more about the bible, because we’re responsible to obey what we know. Generally, we have this tendency to want to “know” more without “obeying” more. This mentor always asks me, what’s the level of your obedience, compared to your level of knowledge? Ouch. Did I mention I’m pretty much still working on the “love your neighbor as yourself” bit?
So here I am, sitting at the kitchen counter, running over those verses in my head and still wanting to poke his eyes out (let’s say the object of my frustration was male).
And I didn’t know what to do. I felt pretty helpless, sitting there angry and knowing I needed to let go of the anger, and not knowing how to make it happen. I just kept running over the verses that I’ve been reading the last few weeks … the verses about forgiveness and mercy and grace.
And then I thought of an old story, the story in John 8 where the rabbis of caught a woman in adultery and brought her to be stoned, as the law instructed. They asked Jesus, “should we stone her?” because they wanted to trap him into making a theological mistake.
But Jesus doesn’t say anything. He just leans over and starts tracing his finger through the soft dirt on the ground. He scribbles patterns and dots, running his fingers across the dusty ground. The rabbis, impatient, demand an answer. So Jesus says the now-famous line, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
And the rabbis melt away. Finally the woman is left standing there alone, and Jesus says, “Who is there to condemn you?”
“No one,” she says. “Neither do I condemn you,” Jesus says. “Go your way and sin no more.”
I like the modern interpretation of this story, the one that suggests Jesus may have been writing very specific words in the dirt. That those words may have been the sins of the rabbis, which shamed them into dropping their stones.
As my anger bubbled under my skin, I thought of that woman, and of the person I was upset with. So I climbed off my stool and knelt on the floor in my kitchen, and began to name my own sins … the sins God has forgiven for me. The sins others have forgiven me of.
I am so grateful to have been forgiven. I am so grateful that people I love are so ready to forgive me, to wipe the slate clean. I am able to forgive because I have been forgiven. “Deserving” it isn’t really part of the equation when I have to choose whether or not to forgive and move forward in love.
See? You should be mindful of what you pray for. If you want to be forgiven, God will keep giving you opportunities to learn how to forgive. As CS Lewis said, you can’t be too careful. God is quite unscrupulous.
Last night I started to get into it with someone. They were being a jerk, and I got mad. I wanted to “bop” them, as my mother-in-law puts it.
And, of course, I immediately thought of that little five-part blog I wrote mere days ago … you know, the one about making allowances for other’s faults, and forgiving anyone who offends you.
Yikes.
Why do I do this to myself?
One of my mentors tells me that we shouldn’t be so eager to learn more about the bible, because we’re responsible to obey what we know. Generally, we have this tendency to want to “know” more without “obeying” more. This mentor always asks me, what’s the level of your obedience, compared to your level of knowledge? Ouch. Did I mention I’m pretty much still working on the “love your neighbor as yourself” bit?
So here I am, sitting at the kitchen counter, running over those verses in my head and still wanting to poke his eyes out (let’s say the object of my frustration was male).
And I didn’t know what to do. I felt pretty helpless, sitting there angry and knowing I needed to let go of the anger, and not knowing how to make it happen. I just kept running over the verses that I’ve been reading the last few weeks … the verses about forgiveness and mercy and grace.
And then I thought of an old story, the story in John 8 where the rabbis of caught a woman in adultery and brought her to be stoned, as the law instructed. They asked Jesus, “should we stone her?” because they wanted to trap him into making a theological mistake.
But Jesus doesn’t say anything. He just leans over and starts tracing his finger through the soft dirt on the ground. He scribbles patterns and dots, running his fingers across the dusty ground. The rabbis, impatient, demand an answer. So Jesus says the now-famous line, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
And the rabbis melt away. Finally the woman is left standing there alone, and Jesus says, “Who is there to condemn you?”
“No one,” she says. “Neither do I condemn you,” Jesus says. “Go your way and sin no more.”
I like the modern interpretation of this story, the one that suggests Jesus may have been writing very specific words in the dirt. That those words may have been the sins of the rabbis, which shamed them into dropping their stones.
As my anger bubbled under my skin, I thought of that woman, and of the person I was upset with. So I climbed off my stool and knelt on the floor in my kitchen, and began to name my own sins … the sins God has forgiven for me. The sins others have forgiven me of.
I am so grateful to have been forgiven. I am so grateful that people I love are so ready to forgive me, to wipe the slate clean. I am able to forgive because I have been forgiven. “Deserving” it isn’t really part of the equation when I have to choose whether or not to forgive and move forward in love.
See? You should be mindful of what you pray for. If you want to be forgiven, God will keep giving you opportunities to learn how to forgive. As CS Lewis said, you can’t be too careful. God is quite unscrupulous.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
"Politicked," reprised
Thursday, January 8, 2009
"Peace on Earth," part five
It’s hard to take the initiative in making peace when you feel wronged. Or even if someone else feels you wronged them. It’s uncomfortable, and icky. (Although the good news is it, like everything, gets much easier when you practice!)
It’s hard to be forgiving on the inside as well as the outside. But Jesus says that what we say to each other matters, and how we feel about each other matters. What’s in our hearts matters.
But here’s the best part: we don’t have to be humble and forgiving just because it’s the right thing to do. We don’t practice this and fail and try again and work toward conflict resolution because we should. We do it because he did it for us first. We do it because we know what it feels like on the other side. We do it because we are forgiven. Because our conflict has been resolved.
In Matthew 18, Jesus follows up his teaching with a parable. There was a man who owed a lot of money to a really big fish. It was serious. Some limbs could definitely be snapped if he didn’t pay up. In fact, the fish set out to take his wife and kids, too. But the man went to the big fish, crawling, and begged for mercy. He explained that he couldn’t pay the money back, he begged for more time, and a shocking thing happened: the big fish nodded. “Go,” he said. “Fuggetaboutit.” Just like that. His debt was erased. The big fish had pity on the man and his family and let them go.
So the man, relieved but also pretty stressed by this incident, went to his down-and-out friend and took out his stress on him. The friend owed him some money and the man demanded that he pay up. The friend couldn’t, so the man roughed him up good. The big fish found out and dragged the man back in. And tortured him. Until the money was all paid back … the previously forgiven debt … because the man who received mercy didn’t show mercy.
Nice story, huh? Yeah, it actually says the guy was tortured.
And then Jesus brings it all home with this: “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
Are you kidding me? I guess he really is serious about this. We have been forgiven, no questions asked. We have been redeemed and restored, and all the not-so-good things we’ve done, all our bad choices, are wiped out. We’re free and clear, just for the asking. I don’t know about you, but that right there speaks peace to my soul. I love being forgiven.
But Jesus doesn’t leave it there. God doesn’t leave it there. Now, he says, do unto others. Now, get over yourself. Go to them, humble your heart, and do everything you can to make peace.
It’s hard to be forgiving on the inside as well as the outside. But Jesus says that what we say to each other matters, and how we feel about each other matters. What’s in our hearts matters.
But here’s the best part: we don’t have to be humble and forgiving just because it’s the right thing to do. We don’t practice this and fail and try again and work toward conflict resolution because we should. We do it because he did it for us first. We do it because we know what it feels like on the other side. We do it because we are forgiven. Because our conflict has been resolved.
In Matthew 18, Jesus follows up his teaching with a parable. There was a man who owed a lot of money to a really big fish. It was serious. Some limbs could definitely be snapped if he didn’t pay up. In fact, the fish set out to take his wife and kids, too. But the man went to the big fish, crawling, and begged for mercy. He explained that he couldn’t pay the money back, he begged for more time, and a shocking thing happened: the big fish nodded. “Go,” he said. “Fuggetaboutit.” Just like that. His debt was erased. The big fish had pity on the man and his family and let them go.
So the man, relieved but also pretty stressed by this incident, went to his down-and-out friend and took out his stress on him. The friend owed him some money and the man demanded that he pay up. The friend couldn’t, so the man roughed him up good. The big fish found out and dragged the man back in. And tortured him. Until the money was all paid back … the previously forgiven debt … because the man who received mercy didn’t show mercy.
Nice story, huh? Yeah, it actually says the guy was tortured.
And then Jesus brings it all home with this: “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
Are you kidding me? I guess he really is serious about this. We have been forgiven, no questions asked. We have been redeemed and restored, and all the not-so-good things we’ve done, all our bad choices, are wiped out. We’re free and clear, just for the asking. I don’t know about you, but that right there speaks peace to my soul. I love being forgiven.
But Jesus doesn’t leave it there. God doesn’t leave it there. Now, he says, do unto others. Now, get over yourself. Go to them, humble your heart, and do everything you can to make peace.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
"Peace on Earth," part four
I’ve totally bought into this idea of speaking up and telling people when they’ve hurt me, and doing it in a loving and constructive way. It makes sense, not holding grudges and not letting things build up inside of me … you know, the pus of bitterness that can infect your wounds.
But what Jesus said in Matthew 5 is so much harder. Notice his wording (it works in any translation): if someone has something against you. In Matthew 18, it’s if I have a problem with someone else, go and tell them, confess it, if you will. But in Matthew 5, it’s if they have something against me. Yikes. That’s hard to admit, and even harder to confront!
But even that’s cake compared to what he says next.
In Psalms, David says, “I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his people.” I’ve written about this before – God speaks peace to us – God wants to be at peace with us. That’s why people brought their sacrifices to the temple … it was their assurance that God had forgiven them, wiped the slate clean. It was a physical embodiment of their forgiveness … it was tactile, it was serious, it was real. It gave them confidence that they were at peace with God.
So here’s what Jesus says next: if you’re not willing to be reconciled to each other, don’t bother trying to be reconciled to me.
Stop it, he says, just stop it. Anyone who says they love me, and does not love others, especially the least among them, does not love me at all, Jesus says. Don’t fool yourselves. You’ve heard that you should love your families and friends. But I say, love your enemies. “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. If you only love those who love you, what’s special about that? Even corrupt people do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different? Everyone does that.” (Matthew 5)
I know, it’s a tall order. Especially when the whole sneaky payback thing is so easy. Even if you just keep it inside, the resentment and bitterness, Jesus says it’s the same as if you lashed out, because what is in your heart is what’s true about you. If you harbor anger in your heart, it’s as if you stabbed them with a knife, Jesus says (also Matthew 5). It matters. What you say to each other matters. How you treat each other matters. What you think in your heart about each other matters.
…to be continued further.
But what Jesus said in Matthew 5 is so much harder. Notice his wording (it works in any translation): if someone has something against you. In Matthew 18, it’s if I have a problem with someone else, go and tell them, confess it, if you will. But in Matthew 5, it’s if they have something against me. Yikes. That’s hard to admit, and even harder to confront!
But even that’s cake compared to what he says next.
In Psalms, David says, “I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his people.” I’ve written about this before – God speaks peace to us – God wants to be at peace with us. That’s why people brought their sacrifices to the temple … it was their assurance that God had forgiven them, wiped the slate clean. It was a physical embodiment of their forgiveness … it was tactile, it was serious, it was real. It gave them confidence that they were at peace with God.
So here’s what Jesus says next: if you’re not willing to be reconciled to each other, don’t bother trying to be reconciled to me.
Stop it, he says, just stop it. Anyone who says they love me, and does not love others, especially the least among them, does not love me at all, Jesus says. Don’t fool yourselves. You’ve heard that you should love your families and friends. But I say, love your enemies. “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. If you only love those who love you, what’s special about that? Even corrupt people do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different? Everyone does that.” (Matthew 5)
I know, it’s a tall order. Especially when the whole sneaky payback thing is so easy. Even if you just keep it inside, the resentment and bitterness, Jesus says it’s the same as if you lashed out, because what is in your heart is what’s true about you. If you harbor anger in your heart, it’s as if you stabbed them with a knife, Jesus says (also Matthew 5). It matters. What you say to each other matters. How you treat each other matters. What you think in your heart about each other matters.
…to be continued further.
Monday, January 5, 2009
"Peace on Earth," part three
When someone hurts you, or pisses you off, what do you do? I’m always tempted to be nasty back…if they blew me off, I want to blow them off. If they said something mean, I want to say something meaner. If they cut me off, I want to mutter rude things under my breath and give them a glare. But that’s really not the way to go. It’s too obvious if you just up and sock them. It’s better if you get them kinda sneaky.
Just the thought of confrontation makes me nervous and sweaty, so the thought of underhand retribution is much more enticing. You know, subtlety. Passive-aggressive, maybe. High-handed; polite but condescending. Yeeessss. Much better. Give them the old “I’m the better person; not stooping to your level; they just want attention because their life is such a mess; I’m so much better than they are.” That’ll show ‘em. Kill ‘em with your righteousness.
Unfortunately, Jesus tends to frown on that. Sweet little baby Jesus was all about peace, right? Peace on earth, goodwill towards men, the angels said at his birth. Peace on earth.
The grownup Jesus was a little more specific. In Matthew, right after he finished the Beatitudes, he said this: “If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” (Matthew 5:23-24)
At my church, we’re big on Biblical conflict resolution. Our primary directive comes from Matthew 18, where Jesus said, “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love. Take this most seriously... What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this.”
It works, but it’s not much fun. The worst part is how you have to be nice and loving toward them, and humble. That’s the worst! When you really just want to be smug or passive-aggressive. I’ve had some practice on this. Too much, some might say.
But I get it. Really, I do. I’ve totally bought into this idea of speaking up and telling people when they’ve hurt me, and doing it in a loving and constructive way.
One time, almost unbelievably, I did end up with a friend because I went through this process: a stranger went from being very angry to being my friend.
To be continued …
Just the thought of confrontation makes me nervous and sweaty, so the thought of underhand retribution is much more enticing. You know, subtlety. Passive-aggressive, maybe. High-handed; polite but condescending. Yeeessss. Much better. Give them the old “I’m the better person; not stooping to your level; they just want attention because their life is such a mess; I’m so much better than they are.” That’ll show ‘em. Kill ‘em with your righteousness.
Unfortunately, Jesus tends to frown on that. Sweet little baby Jesus was all about peace, right? Peace on earth, goodwill towards men, the angels said at his birth. Peace on earth.
The grownup Jesus was a little more specific. In Matthew, right after he finished the Beatitudes, he said this: “If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” (Matthew 5:23-24)
At my church, we’re big on Biblical conflict resolution. Our primary directive comes from Matthew 18, where Jesus said, “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love. Take this most seriously... What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this.”
It works, but it’s not much fun. The worst part is how you have to be nice and loving toward them, and humble. That’s the worst! When you really just want to be smug or passive-aggressive. I’ve had some practice on this. Too much, some might say.
But I get it. Really, I do. I’ve totally bought into this idea of speaking up and telling people when they’ve hurt me, and doing it in a loving and constructive way.
One time, almost unbelievably, I did end up with a friend because I went through this process: a stranger went from being very angry to being my friend.
To be continued …
Saturday, January 3, 2009
"Peace on Earth," part two
Here’s the thing about peace: generally, I think it’s something we want to get rather than give. Something we want applied to us, not something we want to apply to others. Something we want to feel, not something we want to work for. Or is it just me?
I think of peace as a calmness, being unflappable, being serene. But that’s only a little piece of peace. Peace is so much bigger than that. The peace we are called to, anyway. It’s looking out for the interests of others above our own interests. It’s blessing not just our friends, but our enemies too. (Those totally undeserving miscreants.) It’s giving up of ourselves in order to demonstrate patience, generosity and love to those who deserve it least.
Psalm 34:14 and 1 Peter 3:11 say the same thing: “Search for peace, and work to maintain it.” Hebrews 12:14 says, “Work at living in peace with everyone.” 2 Timothy 2:22 instructs us to “pursue peace.” And Psalm 85:10 ties together love, truth and peace: “Unfailing love and truth meet together; righteousness and peace will kiss.”
I’d never thought of peace this way before … as something I must choose, every day. Something I don’t just pray for, but work for. Maybe – maybe – peace doesn’t just come to me, maybe peace comes from me, if I’m willing.
I think of peace as a calmness, being unflappable, being serene. But that’s only a little piece of peace. Peace is so much bigger than that. The peace we are called to, anyway. It’s looking out for the interests of others above our own interests. It’s blessing not just our friends, but our enemies too. (Those totally undeserving miscreants.) It’s giving up of ourselves in order to demonstrate patience, generosity and love to those who deserve it least.
Psalm 34:14 and 1 Peter 3:11 say the same thing: “Search for peace, and work to maintain it.” Hebrews 12:14 says, “Work at living in peace with everyone.” 2 Timothy 2:22 instructs us to “pursue peace.” And Psalm 85:10 ties together love, truth and peace: “Unfailing love and truth meet together; righteousness and peace will kiss.”
I’d never thought of peace this way before … as something I must choose, every day. Something I don’t just pray for, but work for. Maybe – maybe – peace doesn’t just come to me, maybe peace comes from me, if I’m willing.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
