"Peace on Earth," part five

It’s hard to take the initiative in making peace when you feel wronged. Or even if someone else feels you wronged them. It’s uncomfortable, and icky. (Although the good news is it, like everything, gets much easier when you practice!)

It’s hard to be forgiving on the inside as well as the outside. But Jesus says that what we say to each other matters, and how we feel about each other matters. What’s in our hearts matters.

But here’s the best part: we don’t have to be humble and forgiving just because it’s the right thing to do. We don’t practice this and fail and try again and work toward conflict resolution because we should. We do it because he did it for us first. We do it because we know what it feels like on the other side. We do it because we are forgiven. Because our conflict has been resolved.

In Matthew 18, Jesus follows up his teaching with a parable. There was a man who owed a lot of money to a really big fish. It was serious. Some limbs could definitely be snapped if he didn’t pay up. In fact, the fish set out to take his wife and kids, too. But the man went to the big fish, crawling, and begged for mercy. He explained that he couldn’t pay the money back, he begged for more time, and a shocking thing happened: the big fish nodded. “Go,” he said. “Fuggetaboutit.” Just like that. His debt was erased. The big fish had pity on the man and his family and let them go.

So the man, relieved but also pretty stressed by this incident, went to his down-and-out friend and took out his stress on him. The friend owed him some money and the man demanded that he pay up. The friend couldn’t, so the man roughed him up good. The big fish found out and dragged the man back in. And tortured him. Until the money was all paid back … the previously forgiven debt … because the man who received mercy didn’t show mercy.

Nice story, huh? Yeah, it actually says the guy was tortured.

And then Jesus brings it all home with this: “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

Are you kidding me? I guess he really is serious about this. We have been forgiven, no questions asked. We have been redeemed and restored, and all the not-so-good things we’ve done, all our bad choices, are wiped out. We’re free and clear, just for the asking. I don’t know about you, but that right there speaks peace to my soul. I love being forgiven.

But Jesus doesn’t leave it there. God doesn’t leave it there. Now, he says, do unto others. Now, get over yourself. Go to them, humble your heart, and do everything you can to make peace.

"Peace on Earth," part four

I’ve totally bought into this idea of speaking up and telling people when they’ve hurt me, and doing it in a loving and constructive way. It makes sense, not holding grudges and not letting things build up inside of me … you know, the pus of bitterness that can infect your wounds.

But what Jesus said in Matthew 5 is so much harder. Notice his wording (it works in any translation): if someone has something against you. In Matthew 18, it’s if I have a problem with someone else, go and tell them, confess it, if you will. But in Matthew 5, it’s if they have something against me. Yikes. That’s hard to admit, and even harder to confront!

But even that’s cake compared to what he says next.

In Psalms, David says, “I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his people.” I’ve written about this before – God speaks peace to us – God wants to be at peace with us. That’s why people brought their sacrifices to the temple … it was their assurance that God had forgiven them, wiped the slate clean. It was a physical embodiment of their forgiveness … it was tactile, it was serious, it was real. It gave them confidence that they were at peace with God.

So here’s what Jesus says next: if you’re not willing to be reconciled to each other, don’t bother trying to be reconciled to me.

Stop it, he says, just stop it. Anyone who says they love me, and does not love others, especially the least among them, does not love me at all, Jesus says. Don’t fool yourselves. You’ve heard that you should love your families and friends. But I say, love your enemies. “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. If you only love those who love you, what’s special about that? Even corrupt people do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different? Everyone does that.” (Matthew 5)

I know, it’s a tall order. Especially when the whole sneaky payback thing is so easy. Even if you just keep it inside, the resentment and bitterness, Jesus says it’s the same as if you lashed out, because what is in your heart is what’s true about you. If you harbor anger in your heart, it’s as if you stabbed them with a knife, Jesus says (also Matthew 5). It matters. What you say to each other matters. How you treat each other matters. What you think in your heart about each other matters.

…to be continued further.

"Peace on Earth," part three

When someone hurts you, or pisses you off, what do you do? I’m always tempted to be nasty back…if they blew me off, I want to blow them off. If they said something mean, I want to say something meaner. If they cut me off, I want to mutter rude things under my breath and give them a glare. But that’s really not the way to go. It’s too obvious if you just up and sock them. It’s better if you get them kinda sneaky.

Just the thought of confrontation makes me nervous and sweaty, so the thought of underhand retribution is much more enticing. You know, subtlety. Passive-aggressive, maybe. High-handed; polite but condescending. Yeeessss. Much better. Give them the old “I’m the better person; not stooping to your level; they just want attention because their life is such a mess; I’m so much better than they are.” That’ll show ‘em. Kill ‘em with your righteousness.

Unfortunately, Jesus tends to frown on that. Sweet little baby Jesus was all about peace, right? Peace on earth, goodwill towards men, the angels said at his birth. Peace on earth.

The grownup Jesus was a little more specific. In Matthew, right after he finished the Beatitudes, he said this: “If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” (Matthew 5:23-24)

At my church, we’re big on Biblical conflict resolution. Our primary directive comes from Matthew 18, where Jesus said, “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love. Take this most seriously... What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this.”

It works, but it’s not much fun. The worst part is how you have to be nice and loving toward them, and humble. That’s the worst! When you really just want to be smug or passive-aggressive. I’ve had some practice on this. Too much, some might say.

But I get it. Really, I do. I’ve totally bought into this idea of speaking up and telling people when they’ve hurt me, and doing it in a loving and constructive way.

One time, almost unbelievably, I did end up with a friend because I went through this process: a stranger went from being very angry to being my friend.

To be continued …

"Politicked," part two

I really am getting excited about next year … everywhere I turn, it’s commentary on politics. It will be cool, come January, to have the first African-American president in the USA. A living, breathing embodiment of our melting-pot nation.

But most of the conflict I witness is Republic/conservative vs. Democrat/liberal. Even today I read a blog about why Donald Miller voted for Obama, and the comments people left even called his salvation into question because of his vote.
Is it just me, or do you hear this kind of attack and counter-attack too? I hear Christians on both sides of the party debate, although generally I hear it said that you can’t be a good Christian and a Democrat. Apparently in his day, Jesus and the disciples voted Republican. I guess when he comes back he will again.

Here’s a quote I found from a famous Christian author writing to conservatives about their conflict with liberals from way back in the day:

Don’t forget that you used to be outsiders too. You lived in the world without God and without hope. Christ himself has made peace between us by making us all one people. He has broken down the wall of hostility that used to separate us. By his death he ended the whole system that excluded people. His purpose was to make peace by creating in himself one new person from different groups. …Our hostility toward each other has been put to death! Now all of us may come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us.

Can you guess who the author was? It was Paul, writing to the Ephesians about how Jews and Gentiles wanted to rip each other apart and that their division only damaged their hearts and denied Christ. He said this all in Ephesians two, verses eleven through fourteen in the NLT.

What do you think? Does it apply today too?