“Jesus Has a Tattoo”

Actually, he has two. According to the Bible, that is. Want to know where God has his tats? One of them is on his thigh: “On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: King of Kings and Lord of Lords.” The other one, says Revelation 19, is a secret name written on his body in a secret place. So I guess both secret tattoos and thigh tattoos are okay with God.

I bring this up because yet another one of my friends is getting a tattoo without me. I happen to think tattoos are super holy and everyone who loves Jesus should have one. There’s a rich tradition of tattooing from the early church, when they would get all sorts of religious tattoos that would bear bodily evidence of their commitment to Christ. How holy is that?!

Now some folks point out that there’s a verse that says tattoos are bad, so let’s look at that. It’s in Leviticus 19:28. “Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos.” This is next to the verse instructing God’s people to not wear clothing that has two kinds of thread (no blended fabrics) and not to trim their beads or their sideburns.

Have I mentioned I love the Old Testament?

I love it because it’s such a full, rich story of God’s love for his people, and it’s difficult and tangly and literary. It makes you work. Jesus said “Love your neighbor as yourself and love God with all your heart, soul and mind.” I’m pretty much still working on that one. But I also love the deep and tangly-ness of the Old Testament. Like this example. Leviticus reads a bit like a B-grade slasher flick if you don’t know the context of it. Some of it makes sense and most of it doesn’t, without some research and perspective and context.

But I digress. My point was, if you trim your beard and your sideburns, or if you wear clothing made out of more than just one type of thread, you can go ahead and get a tattoo. People in “those days” used to cut themselves on behalf of their dead (as a sacrifice) and get tattoos that marked them as servants of pagan gods. I still think you shouldn’t do those things, but I’m not giving up my cotton-spandex jeans. We can get into that later.

If you’re on the fence about getting a tattoo, or approving of someone else’s tattoo, just remember that when Jesus comes back, he’s gonna have some serious ink. So you’ve got time to get used to the idea. And if you want to be on the safe side, make sure it’s a tattoo Jesus could get behind. Something with religious connotation, or a cat. Everybody knows Jesus loves cats. He’s the lion of Judah.